Featured image: “The Masquerade” (Phantom of the Opera) by Annie Stegg

Dearest Gentle Reader,

It has come to my attention that there is no online source of etiquette for fantasy balls yet!

As your modern Whistledown, it is my duty to create a guide so that we do not create scandal as the amount of fantasy events increases, don’t you agree?

Note that fantasy balls are not cosplay events and they must not be treated as such. These events not only call for a level of formality and decorum, but also a dash of whimsy and magic!

With that, here are some tips to help you at your next fantasy ball.

BEFORE THE BALL

1. Read your invitation and follow the rules.

Does your invitation call for a mask? a certain color scheme? Must you wear wings to a Faerie Ball? What sort of activities are forbidden? The rules can range from “very strict” to “not at all.”

On the very strict side, some masquerade balls forbid you from taking off your mask or using your real name. (i.e. you must prepare a fictional persona) There may even be schedules and rules to interact with the NPCs at certain points to propel the story forward.

On the “not at all,” side: it’s basically a convention with fantasy costumes and a slightly more formal dress code but you can you whatever you want.

2. Prepare a character anyway!

Whether your fantasy ball is strict or not, prepare a character anyway – just for fun!

This is the part where it requires the most effort, but will give you a lot of reward. Have you always wanted to be a righteous elven paladin with great hair and a big hammer? Or a mysterious fae Druid with a Disney Princess voice and a way with forest creatures?

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to fill out an entire D&D character sheet (unless you want to or the event calls for it). It’s up to you! More often than not, these basics will be enough:

• Name
• Race (what creature are you?)
• Class (what does your character do to fight?)
• Abilities (special things your character can do)
• Affiliation (does your character serve a king? goddess? country? or nature itself?)
• Alignment (neutral? good? lawful? chaotic? Etc.)
• Opinions (your character should have a strong opinion on something- anything, whether it’s about capes or politics – so that you can make some jokes!
• Quirks: Does your character roll their eyes every time nobility passes by? Watch with morbid curiosity at a public beheading? Dance and sing at the ballroom, or brood in a corner?

Have fun with all these things!

3. Read the lore of your event

It helps to know the “current events” of your fantasy ball. For example, is it a banquet held in honor of the Duke and Duchess?

Is it a tense supper between rival factions, where alliances are forged and broken? Are there mischievous fairy kings and queens to worry about? Will people “die” over the course of the evening?

At my last masquerade ball, I had such fun discussing the scandals of the night (someone took off his mask in front of the duchess) as well as the public beheadings earlier during the day. To have the most fun, you have to be involved!

AT THE BALL

4. Careful, your wings!

Or your tail, or your horns, or your floor-length wig. Or your gown. No matter what it is, if you have anything that hangs or trails behind you, exercise caution when you are turning!

I cannot emphasize this enough: you do not want to be the reason a poor lord or lady falls into the lake or stumbles into a vase of roses! That is poor decorum, and depending on the severity of the offense, you may be escorted from the premises of the ball.

5. Invite people to dance!

I can see the appeal of being a wallflower, it is much less work. But prithee, you are at a ball.

Please do invite people to dance if no one is dancing, it will make the event much livelier. The worse they can say is no!

6. Roleplay respectfully

While it is a fantasy event full of make-believe, do ensure to sense-check the

i.e. you do not have to say “milady, may we roleplay?” Just sense-check and see that the individual is open to being talked to!

I suggest going in strong with a “Good afternoon, how goes the evening?” to gauge if the person or group is amicable to roleplaying. If they are, then you’ve just made a new group of friends! If no, then it’s all right – you can just talk to them like normal.

7. Compliment outfits

Do tell the lady over there that her gown is beautiful! Or that the lord’s armor is most chivalrous!

Helps to make new friends and get a conversation started – after all, I’m sure most of the attendees can’t wait to talk about how they crafted their headdresses or embroidered their gowns to perfection.

Thank you for reading!

I shall update this guide as I attend more fantasy balls and obtain more tips and tricks. Stay whimsical, and I can’t wait to hear from you about your magical evenings!

To conclude this post, I shall tell you of a fun little Regency era tradition where hosts chalked their ballroom floors with fancy-yet-ephemeral works of art to be danced upon:

Thou know’st the time, thou man of lore!
It takes to chalk a ball-room floor —
Thou know’st the time, too, well-a-day!
It takes to dance that chalk away.

The Ball-room opens — far and nigh
Comets and suns beneath us lie;
O’er snow-white moons and stars we walk,
And the floor seems one sky of chalk!

But soon shall fade that bright deceit,
When many a maid, with busy feet
That sparkle in the lustre’s ray,
O’er the white path shall bound and play… (Thomas Moore in Brown, 1813)